Poems of Doubtful Hope

This poem's a distraction From self-indulgent sabotage.  An intentional disruption To give you time to think and pause. Examine what you're feeling, Why it has you reeling, And figure out a better way To try and help yourself today. Be honest with yourself, Try your best to be kind, Unburden your heart, Examine your mind. Wherever this reflection goes, Know that all of life's great woes Are better served by love and grace Than cutting your nose off to spite your face.

Physically Emotionally Spiritually Existentially Mentally  Socially Religiously Professionally Relationally Philosophically Increasingly Exponentially Worryingly Overwhelmingly Inexorably... Irredeemably?

Some days I wish I could just quit food. Completely avoid it like you can Drugs or cigarettes or alcohol. Cut off my unhealthy relationship With all the empty calories that go into my mouth. Avoid the pain of trying to unlearn and relearn. Making a parasitic relationship symbiotic Is hard work, made harder By the necessary methadone of nutrition. It would be so much easier to be able To say "no" rather than "instead," Buying medicine from the same dealers who sold me the poison. Then I think about how all this applies to you, too, God. People who call themselves Christian have given me a lot of empty calories When what I needed was nourishment. I foolishly convinced myself That all I needed to do was cut out the junk That's gotten in the way of finding you, And instead of feeling better I'm starving. I've cut out the vain and empty calories; It’s time to replace them with things that will satisfy. You need discipline to be a disciple. B...

Sometimes I marvel at how My bumbling attempts to instill virtue Have led to the kindness I see Coming out of your heart.  Almost ten but sometimes seeming almost grown. You don't get it right all the time (who does?), But I see the way you care for your little brother.  I see the way you try to include others Who seem like they might feel left out. I'm prouder than words could ever say Of the person I see you becoming.  I'm sorry for all the times I fail To give you the best version of myself.  You are so full of life and joy.  You're three, and you've still got So much growing left to do, So many things you don't know, But there's a spark in you that's different Than what I've seen and see in your brother,  And I can't wait to see where it leads.  I love how much you love music.  I love to sing with you and play superheroes.  Spidey, Superman, Batman, Wonder Melon: Imagine and play and dream as big as you can. Being Dad to you both is the g...

I humble myself before you, God, And ask for your forgiveness. Forgive me for assuming I have all the answers, Forgive me for acting as though it's true. Forgive me for being self-righteous. Forgive me for assuming malicious intent In the hearts of those with whom I disagree. Forgive me for doubting in your goodness. Forgive me for thinking I would make a better arbiter of justice Than the Lord of all the earth. Forgive me for assuming I know Who is and isn't welcome in the kingdom of God. Forgive me for assuming any would be unwelcome at all. Forgive me for being angry that your mercy is with those I'd rather it abandon. Forgive me for being jealous that others hear you better than I do. Forgive me for struggling to find hope Over the last few years as the world feels darker and darker. Forgive me for not doing more to shine your light into that darkness. Forgive me for being so very human While also so utterly inhumane. Help me to be better. Show me your light and fill me...

Fists clenched tight around their hoards While the masses wait for the excess to trickle down. Instead they build bigger storehouses, Lining the pockets of the ones who prop them up By robbing Peter and Paul to pay Herod. Some are still convinced they deserve it all While the chasm between us grows wider and wider. They offer up poor Lazarus as a sacrifice For daring to look too longingly at the rich man's table. So many woes and cares; God save the billionaires! Holding the weight of the hopes and dreams Of those foolish enough to believe someday they might be like them, Refusing to believe they have a right to say What other people ought to do with their money While the rich continue to shape policies That dole out an abundance of subsidies And tax breaks to line their own pockets, Slashing the pittance reserved For the widow, the orphan, and the foreigner in our midst. "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"