Poems of Doubtful Hope

It feels like the height of melodrama To claim that the place I find myself  Is anywhere adjacent to "the depths,"  And it wouldn't exactly be true to say I've spent much time crying out to you.  "In a slump I sit around waiting for someone else to do something" Would be a more accurate description.  I believe that you've forgiven me. I believe that you love me and want my best. But Bill, I believe this is killing me.  My soul has fallen to its metaphorical knees And I'm struggling to find the strength to stand back up To keep trudging, mile after mile,  Surrounded by so much nonsense baptized in self-righteous spite.  I've been waiting for the morning like a watchman.  I've abandoned personal responsibility for mindless oblivion.  I shuffle along, day by day,  Like a mindless troglodyte heedless of his own actions.  My soul will wait for the Lord, and I trust in you,  But I can't stand still and sink into the depths while I wa...

When I find myself in times of anger,  Ready to unleash my woe,  A voice inside me whispers "Let it go." And in my righteous indignation,  Anger deep down starts to grow. But what good is it doing? Let it go.  Let it go, Let it go,  Let it go, let it go.  Walk away, allow yourself to grow.  And when the hateful people Who want you to lose your shit Goad you into anger,  Part with it.  For though they may be fuming,  Wanting you to throw a fit,  Your rage is not your master,  Part with it.  Part with it, Part with it,  Part with it, Part with it,  Set your anger down and part with it.  Let it go, Let it go,  Let it go, let it go.  Walk away, allow yourself to grow.  And in the midst of sorrow,  When depression leads into despair,  Tell yourself the truth: someone cares.  Your mind is playing tricks on you,  Trying to leave you unaware.  Picture in your mind someone who ...

How do you describe depression to someone who thinks it means "very sad?" How do you explain anxiety to someone who thinks it means "very nervous?" What words can you use to make them understand what it's like To wake up in the morning with a millstone tied around your neck? A millstone you carved yourself in reverse: A pebble added when you ate pizza instead of exercising.  A stone grafted to the surface when you looked in the mirror  And wondered why anyone would ever love you.  A handful of gravel, added daily, to represent the self-destructive Nature of the ouroboros fucking with your mind  As the things you worry about make you worried and become the things you worry about.  You even added your own decorations.  Every unkind word, spoken or imagined, staining the surface in bold black letters That never wash away, no matter how many kind words try to replace them.  But even that's a metaphor less cruel than the reality.  If you walked around ...