Poems of Doubtful Hope

What should I bring to offer unto God? What could I possibly give the Lord that would suffice? Would God be satisfied with millions in cash? Would God love me if I cleared out my savings And spent it all on something lavish and extravagant? What is the price tag on God's favor? How much will it cost to get God on my side? God has already explained what is required. You know the answer:  Do justice, Love mercy,  And walk humbly before your God.  Do Justice:  Advocate for those on the margins of life.  The poor, the hated, the broken, the unwanted.  Anyone who life has beaten down and treated Just the way that people treated Jesus.  Lift them up, be a Good Samaritan to them,  And speak out when anyone else Tries to knock them back down again.  Love Mercy: Treat everyone you meet with kindness and compassion.  It doesn't matter how they feel about you.  It doesn't matter if they deserve your grace.  Whatever else they might be,...

My God, My God, why have I forsaken myself? Why do I wander so far from the sources of life and comfort? Every day, God, I make my own selfish choices, And every night, I lie awake wondering why my soul knows no rest. You are holy. Your grace and presence should bring comfort, But instead I find myself cringing in the light, Trying to find somewhere to hide as my deeds are laid bare Before one to whom no one could hope to compare. Many have come before me and entrusted themselves to you, Believing in your ability to save them. I believe in your ability to save others, Yet I still try to save myself without your help. I feel scorned and despised by all who see me, Unable to find the line between my mental illness and reality As fears blur into experiences and shame bends my back so low. Humble me today, Lord. Renew in me the trust I have known in your goodness. My feet cannot carry me to you; I beg that you draw near to me. I have strived to be stronger, But perha...

I've been wandering east of Eden  For what feels like 40 years, But if there's a divine mandate to follow What it might be remains unclear.  Am I being punished? Purified? Abandoned like an unwanted puppy?  Is the Promised Land out here somewhere,  Or has wandering left me truly lost? I've collapsed by the well, But I don't have a bucket to drink.  I'm finally ready to start healing,  But the world around me is putrid; Open sores and closed hearts. Anger and hate breeding discord. Fear and anxiety, Flight and fight. Every step feels further away.  Further from myself, further from you.  I feel like a whitewashed tomb; I'm trying to put good into the world,  But on the inside I feel diseased and dead. I'm following the rumors of where Christ has been,  But I haven't seen so much as God's backside.  I need to see your face, but I'm afraid of the mirror In case it's waiting there.  I'm wandering; am I lost?  The gold doesn't ...