Poems of Doubtful Hope

Physically Emotionally Spiritually Existentially Mentally  Socially Religiously Professionally Relationally Philosophically Increasingly Exponentially Worryingly Overwhelmingly Inexorably... Irredeemably?

Some days I wish I could just quit food. Completely avoid it like you can Drugs or cigarettes or alcohol. Cut off my unhealthy relationship With all the empty calories that go into my mouth. Avoid the pain of trying to unlearn and relearn. Making a parasitic relationship symbiotic Is hard work, made harder By the necessary methadone of nutrition. It would be so much easier to be able To say "no" rather than "instead," Buying medicine from the same dealers who sold me the poison. Then I think about how all this applies to you, too, God. People who call themselves Christian have given me a lot of empty calories When what I needed was nourishment. I foolishly convinced myself That all I needed to do was cut out the junk That's gotten in the way of finding you, And instead of feeling better I'm starving. I've cut out the vain and empty calories; It’s time to replace them with things that will satisfy. You need discipline to be a disciple. B...

Sometimes I marvel at how My bumbling attempts to instill virtue Have led to the kindness I see Coming out of your heart. Almost ten but sometimes seeming almost grown. You don't get it right all the time (who does?), But I see the way you care for your little brother. I see the way you try to include others Who seem like they might feel left out. I'm prouder than words could ever say Of the person I see you becoming. I'm sorry for all the times I fail To give you the best version of myself. You are so full of life and joy. You're three, and you've still got So much growing left to do, So many things you don't know, But there's a spark in you that's different Than what I've seen and see in your brother, And I can't wait to see where it leads. I love how much you love music. I love to sing with you and play superheroes. Spidey, Superman, Batman, Wonder Melon: Imagine and play and dream as big as you can. Being Dad to you both is the greatest thing...