Poems of Doubtful Hope

I could use some mercy today.  I want to believe in the kind of love Your people have been promising me My whole life is real: A love that looks past all the things I hate about myself and all the ways I fail to change into something better. A love that pulls me close and holds me tight While I weep and weep and weep. My list of what counted as a transgression Used to be simple: Anything that failed to show love to God Or those created in that same image.  But the world is cracked and broken And your people are bitter and fighting About the gays and the guns and sex  And violence and socio-economics.  The stones are flying so fast  I have no idea who threw the first one,  But almost everyone seems to think Themselves righteous enough to throw another.  That old-time religion wants me washed in the blood. To turn away from the sins of drinkin' and dancin' And to make sure that it's only women I'm romancin'.  To be washed in the red and to vote that...

I believe in God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, at least that's what I tell other people and most of the time it's true. And in Jesus Christ, his only son our Lord, who continues to let some of the worst hypocrites on the planet drag his name through the mud and pretend they're his people. Who was conceived of the holy spirit in a way I couldn't begin to understand, born of the virgin Mary so that people could get needlessly hung up on our "sinful" nature and play eschatological shell games about human nature, who suffered under Pontius Pilate for the sake of a people who weren't grateful and didn't understand, was crucified not by the Jews or the Romans or any singular group of people who some people want to demonize so they can minimize their own blame for the shittiness that exists inside all of us, died a horrendously violent and painful death covered in his own shit and blood and the cowardice and weakness of all of humanity's...

Our Father, who art in heaven, (At least, I think I believe you are. [most of the time. {certainly, some days I believe it more than others.}]) hallowed be thy name. (Maybe even so hallowed you wouldn't bother listening to someone like me.) Thy kingdom come, (At least, the version of the kingdom I believe in.) Thy will be done, (When it doesn't inconvenience me or force me to get too uncomfortable.) On earth as it is in heaven. (It seems doubtful it could make things worse at this point.) Give us this day our daily bread, (and maybe the discernment to know what the hell I actually need to go along with it.) And forgive us our debts (Student loans especially) As we forgive our debtors. (Money, sure, but I'd like to hang on to the emotional IOUs as long as possible.) And lead us not into temptation, (Who needs to be led? At this point it's harder not to find temptation.) But deliver us from evil. (Especially the secret evil lurking inside our hearts we're afraid to le...