Pandora's Legacy

 

I’m scared to death everyone is looking at me.

I’m scared to death that no one can see who I really am.

I want to withdraw and barricade myself inside my own head,

But there are things to be done and it never stops.

So, I shove it all down, stomping on the lid of the box where I keep my fears,

But it’s been bursting at the seams for as long as I can remember.



I’m scared to death that a single misstep could ruin everything forever.

I’m scared to death that nothing I do matters at all.

I feel the waves crashing over me and keep fighting against the tide.

I feel the waves dragging me under and I want to just give in,

To give up; to sink to the bottom and find rest in the nothing.

How can I follow someone who walks on stormy seas when I can barely tread water?



I’m paralyzed. I can’t move and I have to move.

Rest isn’t restful, and productivity produces results that are barely passable.

I want to leave my sons a legacy.

I want that legacy to be more than fear and pain and regret.

You’ve called me to hold up others; why can’t I feel you holding me?

How do I find my way back to the place I was before without starting all over?

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