Waiting and Hoping

 It's hard to live on purpose when

Everytime I think about life, it hurts. 

Anxiety, Depression, shame, 

Unresolved trauma, doubt... pick your poison.

There's a cocktail of them all

Coursing through my veins,

Making me want to do nothing more

Than turn my brain off and coast; 

Drift along on autopilot, and make

Self-improvement future me's problem. 


I feel like I'm missing so much. 

I struggle to be fully present with

My family; my wife and kids deserve better:

The best me, as flawed as that is.

I wait and I hope

And I hope and I wait...

Waiting and hoping for a better tomorrow. 

Trying to believe I can get there;

Trying to admit to myself I'm not alone.

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